5 Components of a Successful Marriage

What does a successful marriage look like? There are many things that can make a successful marriage. Communication, meeting each others needs, sharing chores etc. are all great and crucial but.... there are some more basic needs in each successful marriage.

Let's take a look at each of these things!

1. Both love themselves and each other

You love your partner? Great! But what happens when you don't love yourself?

Putting others needs before your own can be a great symbol of how much you care about them, however, it should never get in the way of your having your basic needs met.

Marriage is unselfish, but it isn't harmful. Serving your spouse can benefit your marriage, which benefits you. That's how the unselfishness of marriage should work.

2. Both of you enjoy being together and alone.

It's not bad to want to be alone sometimes. It's also not wrong for your spouse to want to be alone.

Respect each other's alone time.

Of course it's just as important to be spending time with each other and family. Do things you like, then do things that they like.

3. Both know themselves well (and each other).

It's so important to know each other well. In fact, Van Epp outlines 5 things you should know about each other before even getting married. (Read those 5 things here.)

It's pretty obvious that you should know someone well, but do you know yourself enough? Know your love languages, know how you argue, know how you can be helpful. Do you know what things make you upset and how to calm down? Spend some time getting to know these important things about yourself (and your partner).

4. Both can express themselves assertively.

How do you and your spouse communicate? Are you sometimes afraid to bring things up? With each other should be your safest place to talk about anything. Make it safe.

You and your spouse should both be able to feel free to express. You should know that when you express yourself you won't be criticized. You both have the right to know that your partner won't be assuming anything but the best, won't put you down, and will respect what you have to say.

That being said, do you take the responsibility of being assertive with your spouse?

5. "Humble and Kind"

I had a professor that repeatedly told us how important humility and kindness was. I probably had "Humble and Kind" written in my notes in 8 different places.

Are you humble enough to admit when you're wrong?

Are you respectful when your spouse is wrong and wants to apologize?

I had another professor say, "Love is optional, kindness is not".

"May we all be humble enough to realize our imperfections are part of being human. May we all be kind enough to realize others will never be perfect."