How to find "The One"
Disclaimer: The answer might be obvious.
If you are reading this then you are either really curious, or you are really seeking advice on how to find that special someone. We all want to feel loved and accepted by someone who we can love back, but most times it just isn't that easy.
"So... how do I find "the one" for me?" you are asking?
The answer comes down to one thing.
Value Yourself.
For some, this might be easy. For others it is quite the challenge. I'm going to outline a few things to help you understand why this is so important and what you can do to apply valuing yourself above everything.
1. Know yourself
Who are you? What do you want in life?
Growing up we usually fall into what we call "scripts" or things we've learned from our parents, families, or friends. But as you get older it is your responsibility to keep, change, or throw out these "scripts" and write a new one. Decide today who you are.
*Tip: Write down at least 5 values or standards that are important for you to keep in your life.
2. Know what you want
Know what you want in life, but also know what you want in a relationship. Are you looking for a serious relationship? Are you ready to commit or just want to date a few people? Establish these things in advance so you have something to give you ground rules. If you find someone you might be interested in, but find out they want the opposite of what you want... throw them out! It's not worth going through the confusion and feelings.
*Tip: Write down what things you are looking for in this stage of your life. Things that are important to meet your needs and help you grow.
3. Make your "Non-negotiable" List
This idea was inspired by a friend of mine. Make a list of 5 Non-negotiable things you want in your significant other or spouse. There might be obvious ones in your life (same faith, funny, charming, etc.) Those things DO NOT belong on this list. Make these five things unique! Not too unique... remember searching for perfection is a dead end road.
For example, my friend wants to marry someone who will want to own a boat. On my list I need someone who will own at least one dog with me and wants more than 3 kids.
*Tip: Think about things you grew up with that you can't imagine not having in your future home. You don't want these things to come up when it's too late.
On another note, some say that you should ditch the husband/wife list that you've been working on most of your life. That's why I like the Non-negotiable list. You won't find perfection, but you deserve at least 5 things!
Don't forget that you deserve to be treated like royalty.
Don't settle.
Do what feels right for you!
Don't have unrealistic expectations, but know yourself enough to go find what you want.
Reflection Question: What can I do to put what I value and need first?
Good luck!
*If you have any other comments or advice on this, please feel free to comment on this post. Share with your friends. Become a member and participate in discussions on various subjects.*
